taking strides when we’re mapless.

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This phase of life rocks.

I’m fumbling through most things + feeling quite small + hearing a million voices from a million different directions.

I’m being met with questions of myself that I never seem to know the answers to + supposed truths from authorities which I am left to measure against biblical truth.

My GPS is broken and I’m driving through miles of fog.

BUT I’m blessed with youth + free time + sweet friendship + travel + soooo much learning.

Most of all, I’m learning that I will be  m i s e r a b l e  if I don’t master the art of laughing at myself in the humbling moments, and that I’ll be  r e s t l e s s  if I don’t choose to love where I am.

Allen Stone’s song, Where You’re At, talks about “keeping your dirt on the surface” & “loving where you’re at”, and I think that’s so relevant to this phase!!

I adore this concept of not only loving where I am but loving from where I am (like, COVERED in dirt).

I’m tired of calling it the in-between. This is not the waiting. This is LIFE, happening right now, not a someday husband or degree or job or home.

& I’m tired of talking about God’s plan for my life as if it were one right answer that I just have to land on.

I believe with my whole heart that he has planto bring fruit out of my daily obedience, wherever he has me in the present time. I want to step aside from the cookie-cutter model of what my life should look like according to the world & into the daily will of the Creator!!!

…into the discomfort, the risk, the thrill of the unknown spaces in which I have to lean completely upon Him.

I’m often so terrified of making the “wrong choice” that I don’t move at all. I wallow in what feels like constant gray & complain that my prayers aren’t being answered.

Then suddenly I’m paralyzed, sitting in spiritual limbo, waiting for a green light when all he wants me to do is take a step.

What if he’s just answering my prayers differently than I expect, and what if there are lessons and opportunities for growth that can only happen in the absence of answers??

{{ This is faith, y’all!!! }}

It means obedience in the now, even when I don’t know where I’m going and what I’m even doing. I was not created to sit in comfort with a box of answers in my lap; I am called to MOVE and ask the Spirit to lead me into spaces where I can make God known.

Bob Goff says, “We shouldn’t be surprised when we don’t understand what a God who says He surpasses all understanding is doing.” Would I really want to worship a God whom I have figured out?

Beyond the comfort of the black and white, I trust that he is God & I am not. He is always merciful and just.

“And we know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the first-born among many brethren. And those whom he predestined he also called; and those whom he called he also justified; and those whom he justified he also glorified.” // Romans 8:28-30

This doesn’t mean that things will always be good, but that he will use difficult circumstances for ultimate good. He has predestined us for his promises. As hard as I try to make my own plans, he knows what is truly good for me better than I do.

I’ll step back and let him be God. {after all, WE are the ones who brought sin into this world: depraved abusers of freedom – far from what we should be – but STILL saved by the sweetest grace!!}

“Do the next right thing.”

Take a step forward in expectation that he will bring something good out of it. Just go somewhere, do something, and make more of Jesus.

Ben Rector (OOPS quoting another singer-songwriter) says that “life is mostly what we choose to see.”

I choose to see the pieces of beauty woven into the crevices of these ordinary days. So yeah, this phase of life rocks and so will the next one!!!

 

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